|
 Author | Topic: adventures in contemporary art (Read 430 times) |
zhavas
Cat-Rapist
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/FaceMelt.gif "[avatar]")
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male 
Posts: 65
|  | adventures in contemporary art
« Thread Started on Jun 29, 2008, 7:41am » | |
so as to remain as inconspicuous as possible during my photographic escapade, I told various art students exposing their atrocities in my school that I was making a review for a magazine. Their enthusiasm was rendered even more tangible by my fashionable sunglasses and polo shirt that made sure that they didn't recognize me as being in their school.
ladies and gentlemen, behold the most ridiculous pieces of shit I have seen this year.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0164.jpg "[image]")
a giant plastic spring/hairpin shoved into a block of runny spam, obviously a sexual connotation is to be noted here: double penetration.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0165.jpg "[image]")
BIS? I can't even fucking read it correctly and the lettering is horrible, what the hell is wrong with you? I bet this was made by a lesbian chinese girl, they always make the most boring white-on-white crap for expos and get commended by other piece of shit gallery owners.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0166.jpg "[image]")
this looks like some sort of otter but I can't be sure. I think he was pagiarizing www.achewood.com but he couldn't even do that right. why don't you die in a fire... a fire made with all your drawings.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0167.jpg "[image]")
two and a half bowling balls, an iron thing bolted to the wall holding them in place... the artist himself probably has no balls and this is an attempt to make some for himself. well it failed.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0168.jpg "[image]")
this one is exceptional because it was in the awards room, as in, someone got a prize of 1500 euros for participating in a painting contest with this piece of shit painting that looks like all hell took a dump in his eye sockets, and he couldn't see the canvas while he was painting. seriously, this enrages me.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0169.jpg "[image]")
I get it, this guy was trying to be ironic with the using of the trash for the making of a vehicle, as in SOCIETY IS GARBAGE LOLOLOL. well fuck you because your work looks like you wanted to be a hobo growing up. eat shit and die if you're not already doing that right now.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0170.jpg "[image]")
fucking asian art students. the rumor is that they will take anyone into the school who has an adress in china, because they need the international credit. fuck this, they're all fucking clones who make shit out of paper and can't speak french enough to explain their work, so everyone thinks they're really deep people.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0171.jpg "[image]")
I can't even comment on this, it just looks like multicolored shit on metal cutouts on the ground. puzzle pieces? no. what the hell people.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0172.jpg "[image]")
this is a fucking brick of clay still in the plastic wrapper, stolen from the sculpture workshop, then they wrapped duct tape over it a bit, and left it to dry. no... just no.
more to follow... about 20 more to be precise.
| |
|
wps
Khan
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j320/patatoemassacre/ss1-034.gif "[avatar]")
BITCH I OWN THIS FORUM
![[homepage]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/buttons/www_sm.gif "[homepage]")
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 750
Location: HOLLAND
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #1 on Jun 29, 2008, 9:03am » | |
holy fucking shit
that shitty painting actually got an award?
I mean look at the fucking poses!
The small bearded faggot with the hoody has one fucked up fist and the guy with the tie is just standing there, looking at the wall
the kid with the chicken in his hands looks high
and look at the fucking kitchen sink!
they cant fucking reach that thing!
if one of those dipshits wipes his own ass his hands will smell of shit all day because THEY CANT REACH THE FUCKING KITCHEN SINK
or maybe they dont wipe their ass and enjoy the feeling of having a shitty ass.
and the perspective is horrible
and all the other things you posted are just shitty as all hell
thank you for sharing this with us, zack
|
|
|
zhavas
Cat-Rapist
member is offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 65
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #2 on Jun 29, 2008, 10:09am » | |
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0173.jpg "[image]")
some guy on meth grabbed a paint roller and this is what happened, he's still mad he didn't get a job as a house painter. his squiggly strokes speak verses of the suffering that his low IQ and drug addiction have brought him.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0174.jpg "[image]")
here we have a variety pack of failure, from the lowly "HEY" on a canvas which the artist was attempting to use as a ploy for attention, to the guy who didn't know what the hell was going on and just nailed his box of felt-tip markers to the wall.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0175.jpg "[image]")
this may or may not be the same artist as the brick of dried clay, who knows anymore? a cucumber and an orange in a beat up cardboard box? another glorious addition to the aspiring-hobo division of my art school.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0177.jpg "[image]")
this is supposed to symbolize transparency of thought and the pathways of expression, according to the ugly person who described his artwork to me. I think he went dumpster-diving behind the school one day and just threw a PVC pipe through some etching plexiglass. everyone is pretending to know what the hell is going on when they talk to you in my school, I wish they'd all die of dick poisoning.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0178.jpg "[image]")
a feminist artist shaved her armpits for the first time and defiantly displays the hair as a symbol of sexual liberation.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0179.jpg "[image]")
I'm just guessing here but I think that the green monster symbolizes the artists' consuming guilt of pretending to have talent. get it? red tablecloth? consuming? like food? fuck this.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0180.jpg "[image]")
there are no words to describe this.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0181.jpg "[image]")
a student in the advanced homeless class, this year she learned to steal caddies from supermarkets to transport her various assorted piles of filth to and from her hovel.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0182.jpg "[image]")
am I supposed to feel bad about this? fuck you and your social-conscience-type art, I hope you actually get cerebral palsy and stop using the misfortune of others to look sincere.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0183.jpg "[image]")
I sort of know the person who made this personally. it's still shitty. a golden dick with a gigantic pisshole? I would piss on this but I'm afraid that he'd think it was a conceptual performance and thank me for it.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0184.jpg "[image]")
see, in my school, not knowing how to draw or paint or actually produce a coherent image is a positive thing, because supposedly you're "going against the grain of the establishment". what happens when the establishment becomes a pile of shitty scribbles and shitstains? this.
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0185.jpg "[image]")
I don't know which way is up for this picture so I'm sorta half-assing it here by putting it like this. the guy who makes these claims that each part of the image is a psychological language to be deciphered. he didn't get his diploma. enough said.
| |
|
wps
Khan
member is offline
BITCH I OWN THIS FORUM
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 750
Location: HOLLAND
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #3 on Jun 29, 2008, 10:59am » | |
:')
|
|
|
wps
Khan
member is offline
BITCH I OWN THIS FORUM
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 750
Location: HOLLAND
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #4 on Jun 29, 2008, 11:00am » | |
you know, I actually think the pedo drawing and the bugs bunny thing should be combined
woman pisses green stuff, bugs gets a boner, kid jacks him off
|
|
|
nottheface
FILTHY N00B
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm38/tomheginbotham/nottheface.jpg "[avatar]")
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 13
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #5 on Jun 29, 2008, 3:42pm » | |
I feel Ill - disenchanted.. disallustioned... disgraced... distinctly distainful. Thank god Im studying literature... a least there is a slightly more rigour in that field.
| |
|
newshape
FILTHY N00B
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://img398.imageshack.us/img398/3659/phibeszzx5.jpg "[avatar]")
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 33
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #6 on Jun 29, 2008, 9:08pm » | |
Nailing a felt tip box to the wall was easily the best option.
| |
|
zekeyspaceylizard
FILTHY N00B
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/7903/facetear.gif "[avatar]")
FUK U
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #7 on Jun 30, 2008, 3:38am » | |
good god these are horrible
these are as horrible as the museum pictures Bug took when he visited the new york museum of art
|
|
|
bastardface
some asshole with more than 100 posts
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc162/bastardmonk/avatards176.png "[avatar]")
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 247
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #8 on Jul 1, 2008, 1:05pm » | |
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a50/zhavas/IMAG0192.jpg "[image]")
|
|
|
wps
Khan
member is offline
BITCH I OWN THIS FORUM
Joined: Jun 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 750
Location: HOLLAND
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #9 on Jul 2, 2008, 11:01am » | |
|
|
|
sinitron
FILTHY N00B
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://bay01.imagebay.com/_upload/img/51/assyman.jpg "[avatar]")
![[yim]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/yim.gif "[yim]") ![[msn]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/msn.gif "[msn]") ![[aim]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/aim.gif "[aim]")
Joined: Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 13
Location: cunt
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #10 on Aug 2, 2008, 2:01pm » | |
Jun 29, 2008, 9:08pm, newshape wrote:| Nailing a felt tip box to the wall was easily the best option. |
|
lmao i thought that one was hilarious
| |
|
catoblepas
FILTHY N00B
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://spamtheweb.com/ul/upload/170808/66670_IKNO.gif "[avatar]")
Don't you. You don't you dare!
Joined: Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 57
Location: Otaniemi
| | Re: adventures in contemporary art
« Reply #11 on Sept 17, 2008, 1:08pm » | |
Oh yes! This is genious art. Dried up clay, a cucumber in a box and a kid wanking a man.
no srsly
| |
|
wowposter
FILTHY N00B
MESSIAH, THE ETERNAL LIGHT
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j320/patatoemassacre/zarathustraAVATAR.jpg "[avatar]")
HAVE FAITH IN ME
Joined: Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 32
| | Digital signate manufacturer,used LCD buyer
« Reply #12 on Nov 8, 2008, 6:19am » | |
Hi,Do you have used LCDs, second hand LCDs and used flat screens and used LCD monitors? Please go here:www.sstar-hk.com(Southern Stars).We are constantly buying re-usable LCD panels and working for LCD recycling.The re-usable panels go through strictly designed process of categorizing, checking, testing, repairing and refurbishing before they are re-used to make remanufactured LCD displays and TV sets.Due to our recent breakthrough in testing and repairing technology of LCD, we can improve the value for your LCD panels.
Contact Us
website:www.sstar-hk.com[hdaaifaiigggec]
| |
|
|
![[Home]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/menu/home.gif "[Home]")
![[New Topics]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/menu/topics.png "[New Topics]")
![[Help]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/menu/help.gif "[Help]")
![[Search]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/menu/search.gif "[Search]")
![[Login]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/menu/login.gif "[Login]")
![[Register]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/menu/register.gif "[Register]")
![[Search This Thread]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/search2.gif "[Search This Thread]")
![[Share Topic]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/new/buttons/share.png "[Share Topic]")
![[Print]](http://s2.images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif "[Print]")
Logged![[image]](http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j320/patatoemassacre/autopsmiley.gif "[image]")
![[image]](http://i34.tinypic.com/315jzg5.gif "[image]")
![[image]](http://i37.tinypic.com/fjgd9y.gif "[image]")
![[image]](http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/4942/beardances.gif "[image]")